A few weeks ago, I led a two-day workshop for a diverse group of educators keen to deepen their knowledge of and explore the structures behind successful coaching efforts in schools. But instead of stepping straight into the key skills and dispositions integral to coaching, we began with a good, solid look at ourselves; in fact, we dedicated the first two hours to looking inward, and drafting our purpose. Why spend such a chunk of time in this space? Well, in all my years in the coaching realm, I've spent loads of time reading, learning, sharing, and teaching others about the 'what' of coaching, but never have I really ventured into my 'why'.
Funnily enough, I had this workshop planned way back in May of this year, and it was very much billed to be systems-oriented. Coaching internationally had - particularly during the pandemic - taken a back-seat or had been kicked off the bus completely in many schools, and as we began connecting again in-person I noticed a resurgence of value and interest in coaching models. It made me wonder...if I had to start all over again - with the gift of hindsight - how would I design for success?
In the months that followed we broke for summer vacation, and I was faced with a first in my life - 5 weeks without my two kids. I travelled alone and with friends just as I had in my 20's, only with the wisdom (!) and experience of a 40-something. It was wonderful and confronting, and I came back with some pretty serious questions about life, particularly about purpose. I - like many - have spent years trying to achieve certain goals, thinking that when I did I would feel some sense of satisfaction. Ben Crowe - an Australian mindset and performance coach who has worked with many elite athletes - talks about this as human-doing instead of human-being, and this felt a lot like me. As I started back at school I delved further into these ideas, making some clear connections to my work and how I bring myself to it. It made me question not what I do as a coach, but who I am when I'm coaching:
Who do I want to be, and for whom?
How do I want to show up for and impact those I work with?
How can I ensure I lead with this, rather than the long list of things I need to do?
It was impossible for these ideas not to bleed across into my preparation for the workshop. If someone had asked me about them way back when I started coaching I may have been able to enter into the work with a clearer sense of purpose and arguably as a more authentic version of myself. They would have helped me frame my 'why' and bring who I wanted to be front and centre. And at times when I've felt frustrated, or like I wasn't achieving what I had hoped, I could have returned to my sense of being, something I can control every day.
As the participant list came in for my workshop, I realised quickly that I had quite a breadth of experience and interests to cater to, and all my recent work into purpose suddenly found new meaning. Before we delved into the world of coaching, I offered what I would have given myself - in hindsight - when I began my own journey 10 years ago: an opportunity to pause and articulate my own 'why'. The result was a personal North-Star for each participant which would guide them through the rest of the workshop, and the actions they'd take back to their schools.
As I reflect on the workshop and the amazing work of the participants, I'm reminded of the importance of our own identities as we enter into coaching partnerships. Setting our own standards for 'human-being' as we coach others helps us feel successful far more quickly than if we try to be a carbon copy of the successful coaches we read about. This isn't to say we shouldn't learn from the experts, but we should also give thought to what our communities need from us, and what strengths we bring to them. These things are so important and unique, and whilst the experts offer a fantastic baseline from which we can work, like any good recipe, their ideas should be tweaked to cater to taste.
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